Picking Up The Pieces
by Angela LuvsFanfic
Summary: A story of mistakes, miscommunication, anger and hurt. Can Edward and Bella pick up the pieces of their tattered marriage, or should they walk away?
1. Chapter 1

******A/N OK this is my entry for the * October Drabble War*. It's my first try at writing so please take it easy on me :) This is just the first chapter to give you a wee tease, the remainder will post from 12th Oct over that weekend.**

******I owe so many peeps massive thanks. Leslie, Farah and my darling Mona Rider for pre-reading, giving me advice and kicking my ass when needed, and a huge hug to TwiLighT7242 for her never-ending support and mad Beta skills xxx**

******Finally i have to say a HUGE thanks to my RL best friend, Fiona Seenan, without her 'blowing smoke up my arse' as she would put it lol...I would never have had the guts to post this at all...I seriously lu you bb xxx  
**

**The story was inspired by this song: ********Picking up the pieces - Paloma Faith www . youtube watch?v=oFWMBmiNY5k**

******So, here goes...**

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******CHAPTER 1 BPOV**

If it wasn't for my music and song-writing, I think would be insane now.

My relationship with Edward feels so damaged. I really don't know if there is a way to repair it, or to get back to where we were before.

His body is here by my side, and in his actions he tries to make up for his mistakes, but I feel like his heart is with _her_.

I put my pen against paper, trying to get my feelings out before I take them out on him, making this god-awful situation worse.

**_Do you think of her, when you're with me?_** I scribble onto the paper, as the tears run down my cheeks. I choke on a sob, writing:**_ Repeat the memories you made together, whose face do you see?_**

The hurt is excruciating, but I don't know another way to expel it. Was it my fault?

**_Do you wish I was a bit more like her? Am I too loud?_**

**_I play the clown to cover up, all these doubts._ **

I can't continue. My hand drops the pen as the devastation takes over again. What did I do to deserve all this pain?

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	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Again thank you for you reviews x**

**Thanks to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 *mwah***

**All errors belong to me and as we are all aware, Twilight belongs to SM, not me.**

**This story was inspired by this song: Picking up the Pieces - Paloma Faith www . youtube . watch ? v = oFWMNmiNY5K**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 2 EPOV**

I have really messed up big time.

What in the hell was I thinking cheating on Bella? She is my life, she keeps my very heart beating.

Why did I risk everything, and for what?

Bella will always be the one for me. From the very day we met, she had me enchanted.

She's not a manufactured beauty, she's completely natural. Bella is witty, so fucking smart, not to mention her slender, shapely figure, long, chestnut hair and the _241 _freckles on her face. I know, because I counted every last one of them, always giving her the attention she deserves...until I fell under the spell of _her_.

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	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Again thank you for your reviews x**

**Thanks to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT242 *mwah***

**All errors belong to me and as we all are aware, Twilight belongs to SM, not me.  
**

**The story was inspired by this song: Picking up the pieces - Paloma Faith www . youtube watch?v=oFWMBmiNY5k**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 3 BPOV**

His arms are around me, pulling me by his side, offering me comfort, that I don't feel he wants to give.

He's just doing it out of obligation, like you should to the one you love, the one you promised forever to.

But he broke that promise to me by promising _her _the things he should have been giving to me.

He thinks I don't see him daydreaming, reminiscing about the times he had with _her_.

He thinks I don't see him cry. My insides twist up when I see him like that. On one hand, I even want him to suffer for his betrayal, but he chose me over _her._

Why? I need to know.

Why am I not enough?

What does she have that I don't?

I use the only weapon I have for the moment – my pen. Somehow, it gives me the comfort I've been missing.

**_Perfect heart, she's flawless._**

As I write those words, I feel a tear drop down my face and find it marking the paper I've been writing on. I chuckle humourlessly, picking the notebook and raise it eye-level so I can stare more at the stain. Our relationship is like this paper; crumpled, worn, and stained. Nothing's going to change no matter how many tears I'll drop over it. It will be forever there.

So, why did he choose me? Or was the decision forced because _she _moved on to someone else, like _she _always does?

**_She's the other woman_**, I scrawl.

I sigh in sadness. Stupid questions. _She _is everything I'm not; gorgeous, clever, sophisticated, and my best fucking friend. I guess she's not anymore.

**_Shining in her splendour._**

Did he think he was any different from all those other men _she _chewed up and spat out?

I can't even ask Edward, I'm so afraid of the answer.

**_You were lost, _**I finally conclude.

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	4. Chapter 4

**A/N *Mwah* that's for all the wonderful reviews.**

**Thanks to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242.**

**All errors are mine and Twilight is Stephanie's.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**_CHAPTER 4 EPOV_**

I hate the way I'm making Bella feel.

I know my distance is causing her distress; she doubts herself and her ability to keep me.

I'm aware that I zone out. I just get so lost in my own disappointment of myself,and in my inability to honor my marriage vows.

I regularly find myself in tears. I have so much to say to her. I need to plead for forgiveness, even beg, if necessary.

But I never do, because she should know I'm hers. Totally. Completely. _Forever._She knows, doesn't she?

I just can't find the words to tell her this.

"Bullshit," I whisper in a cold tone, closing my eyes and shaking my head. The truth is, I'm scared; scared she won't believe me. I can hardly look Bella in the eye.

It's my fault we're in this position.

I wish I had never succumbed to _her _temptation.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

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	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N Big thanks to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 xxx_**

**_All mistakes are mine and Twilight belongs to SM._**

**The story was inspired by this song: Picking up the pieces - Paloma Faith www . youtube watch?v=oFWMBmiNY5k**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**_CHAPTER 5 BPOV_**

In the morning, Edward can't even acknowledge me. There's no 'Good morning, love. What are you up to today?'.

He makes his coffee, puts it in his travel mug, and leaves for work.

And I'm alone again.

Just me and my thoughts, accusations and questions; questions I really should ask, but still can't.

It's like he is in mourning.

Is he mourning _her_ loss? Does he wish he was with _her _instead of me?

Is it the loss of 'us'? Has he realized he may have thrown away everything for only a quick fuck, that maybe he has single-handedly ruined our marriage and our dreams of having a family together?

Does he regret his actions?

Does he regret being married to me and wants an out?

I wish I could work it out.

Could I have been a better wife? Didn't I give him enough, did I not satisfy him?

Obviously fucking not!

And _she_ just walked away, left him, and left _me_.

The music starts in my head, amplifying the pain, causing more questions.

**_And now she's gone, and I'm picking up the pieces, _**I think to myself, wondering what the fuck _she _was thinking. How could _she_ take you away from me, use you, take what _she_ wanted, then walk away?

**_I watch you cry, _**I sing internally, **_But you don't see, that I'm the one by your side. _**He doesn't, though, so I scream in my head, **_in her shadow, is it me you see? _**I'm here, right beside him, and I'm not sure he even realizes that I've stayed because I want to save our relationship. **_Cause all that's left is you and I.._**

_..._and I'm picking up the fucking pieces _she_ left behind.

Anger consumes me; I grab my pad, getting all my thoughts onto paper. I need to speak to Edward, and _soon_.

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	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N A big thanks to the girlies, Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 xx_**

**_All mistakes are mine and Twilight is SM's._**

**_xxxxxxxxxx_**

**_CHAPTER 6 EPOV_**

I all but sprinted out the door this morning.

It was blatantly obvious Bella has been crying through the night like all the other nights since.

She's been sleeping on the sofa, claiming she just fell asleep there after being engrossed in her writing.

I know she's lying. She's avoiding our bed, not that I blame her. The distance between us feels like miles, not just a few short inches.

I wish she would just confront me, because I can see all the questions rushing around in her mind.

I need her to shout and scream; I need her to throw accusations and blame...at _me_.

I know it's eating her alive, I see her brain ticking away, and next thing she's furiously writing in her notebook.

I have to stop myself from grabbing it out of her hand. I know her feelings are down there in black and white.

But I no longer have that right. The right to ask.

All because of _her._

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	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Thank you to my ladies, Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 x**

**All errors belong to moi, as Twilight belongs to SM.**

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**CHAPTER 7 BPOV**

My career as a songwriter means so much to me. I love working with the artists, creating new music and helping them become famous singing my words. But I just can't face going in again today and it leaves me too much time to think.

I have no friends that I feel I can turn to since they are _her _friends too.

I don't want to make them chose between us, although it feels like they have already.

My phone is silent and my inbox is empty.

Not even one from Edward.

I decided to clean, and while doing so, I come across some recent photo albums.

Before I can stop myself, I've got them open across the floor.

The pain blindsides me.

There you are with _her_.

The pictures are of our last night out together, before the shitstorm hit.

I'm beside you, but you just don't see me.

It's like your world starts and finishes with _her_. Your trademark smirk, the one you kept just for me - or so I thought - is firmly planted on your face, you chin angled down at _her._

**_You look so happy, are you missing her and the way it used to be?_**

How could I not see this happening right in front of me when it's so fucking obvious?

Looking around the room, I can't wipe the pictures in my head.

I see _her _everywhere.

On the couch with me, laughing at something on the TV, getting dressed up and downing shots before a girly night out, hugging me tightly when Edward and I had an argument, helping me into my wedding dress, smiling at Edward like they had some private secret, keeping him company when I had to work late...

Oh, fuck, it's all so clear now.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

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	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Thanks for your reviews xx**

**Love to the usual lassies, Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLight7242 for her word wizardry xx**

**Errors are mine, Twilight's SM's**

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**CHAPTER 8 BPOV**

I start moving everything, pushing the sofa over the other end of the room, tearing down pictures, throwing cushions, I can't seem to stop until the room is destroyed.

I need to paint it, change the colour, I can't keep it the same, I have to change it.

_She's _everywhere.

I imagine Edward and _her_ kissing on _my_ sofa, touching each other in front of _my _mirror, fucking on _my_ rug in front the fire. I scream like an amazon woman, throwing everything I can get my hands on. The photo album from earlier reaches my hand and I rip it apart, throwing the photo of _her_and Edward in to the open fire. Just like the photo, the pain is burning me from the inside out.

_She_ was my best friend. What did I do to make _her_hate me so much?

What did I do that made _her_want to destroy my marriage and take away Edward, the person most precious to me in the world?

Was that it, though?

Was it because _she_wasn't the most important person in my life anymore?

Was _she_ jealous that I had Edward, and_ she_ was alone, and so _she_ thought _she_ should have that kind of love for _herself_? Why _my_man? Could she not have dated and built a life with someone else?

I don't suppose I will ever know the answer to that one. I never want to see _her _again.

Looking at the photo curl and burn in the flames, I start to calm. Disappointment washes over me. This is my home, my safe haven, the place I can be myself, be comfortable.

But not anymore. I don't know if I can ever feel that peacefulness here again.

As I sob to myself quietly, the words run around in my head, trying to force their way out.

I can't be here anymore. Grabbing my keys, looking around at the mess I made, I sigh and walk out the door.

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	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Thanks to my girls xx**

**All mistakes are mine, Twilight is Stephanie's**

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_CHAPTER 9 EPOV_

After speaking to my work colleague and best friend, Jasper, I decide to take his advice and bite the bullet.

I'm going to speak to Bella tonight. I need to get everything out in the open, and we need to find a way to move forward.

She must be feeling so isolated. Jasper said that his wife Alice hasn't contacted Bella since the news came out. She didn't want to appear to be taking sides, but in my opinion, that's exactly how it must look to my wife.

She doesn't deserve anymore hurt.

I ask Jasper to encourage Alice to call. Maybe Bella will open up to her, making her open up to me. I can only hope.

Checking my own phone, I see no-one has texted or called.

How can I feel so lonely, when I'm surrounded by the people I work with?

But it's not them I want; It's not them I miss.

All because I was encouraged by _her._

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	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Thank you for the reviews xxx**

**Love to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 xxx**

**All mistakes are mine, and Twilight is Steph's.**

**xxxxxxxxx**

_CHAPTER 10 EPOV_

I head home, hoping we can sit down and talk things through, but I walk in to find the house in complete disarray. It's fucking wrecked.

I panic, thinking we've been robbed, but its only when I look closer and see the photographs strewn everywhere that I realize that Bella caused this devastation. I don't know whether to be angry that the house is in such a mess or relieved that she is now reacting. I can see the remains of some of the pictures in the fire. I don't need to be a mind-reader to know who is in them.

What have I done?

My poor girl is just so upset and I have no idea how to repair it.

I run upstairs to find Bella, but she's nowhere in sight. I worry where she's gone in this state.

I take my phone from my pocket and dial her number. The phone just keeps ringing. But just as I'm about to hang up, she answers.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

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	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N Big thanks to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 for all their help xx_**

**_CHAPTER 11 EPOV_**

The music is loud in the background, and I can hardly hear her voice as she speaks.

"Hello."

"Hey baby, where are..."She sighs, effectively cutting me off.

"Don't call me that. You have no right to call me that!" she half-shouts, half-slurs.

Oh, shit, she's been drinking and she's so mad. I understand the state of the living-room now.

"Bella, please, I'm worried about you. I just want to know your ok. Can I come meet you?"

"No, Edward," she answers quickly, "I need some time to myself. I will come home when I'm ready."

"But Bella..." I implore, but all I hear is the dial tone. Fuck, she's hung up.

I'll just have to live with it, give her the space she needs, and then she will come back to me. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't. After everything I put her through, I don't even know if she loves me anymore.

I tidy up the living-room as best as I can, throwing away all the damaged items, and collecting up the photos that are strewn all over. Picking up one of Bella and I on our wedding day, and seeing it ripped, tugs at my heart. I can't help but let my emotions flow. Seeing the tears in the picture of the happiest day of my life just agonizes me. I pray to whatever deity will listen, asking for forgiveness, for the strength to get through this rough patch and hope that after all is said and done, Bella will forgive me.

On the couch, where I curl up and cuddle the photo, is where I rest for the night. With any luck, the God's have listened and Bella will come home.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

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	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Thanks to my ladies, Leslie, Farah, Mona for pre-reading and TwiLighT7242 for her mad beta skills xx**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 12 BPOV**

I switch my phone off, shoving it in my pocket.

"Patron, please, Barkeep," I shout to the bar man.

The barkeep Jake laughs and hands me over the shot. I fumble in my purse for the money when Jake tells me to put it away, that the kind gentleman at the end of the bar had paid for it.

Now, who am I to turn down a free drink?

I down the shot, tilting my glass in the direction of the man in thanks.

I'm not drunk..._yet_, but I'm getting there. I need something, anything, to numb the pain and anger.

"Hit me again, Jake," I ask, slightly slurring.

He softly shakes his head, "No can do, Bells, you've had enough. Go home to your husband."

And, cue the waterworks.

"I can't Jake, I can't go back there. She's everywhere...and he won't talk to me...why would he choose me over her? Why did he-" I choke out, not even being able to finish the sentence.

Jake leans over, giving me a friendly hug, holds me for a few minutes, and then quietly walks away, leaving me to my tears.

I don't know how long I sat there. I sit until my attention is diverted to a man's hand placing a bottle of tequila on the bar.

"You look like you could use another," the man says.

I lift my face and look into the cool blue eyes of the stranger and put my hand out for him to shake.

"Thanks. I'm Bella, and you are?

"You look like you could use another," the man says.

I lift my face and look into the cool blue eyes of the stranger and put my hand out for him to shake.

"Thanks. I'm Bella, and you are?"

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**So, who's the stanger? Any comments?xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**_A/N Thanks my girlies x_**

**_Any errors belong to me, as Twilight belongs to SM._**

**_xxxxxxxxx_**

**_CHAPTER 13 BPOV_**

A few hours after my breakdown, my phone rings, again.

After days or maybe even weeks of silence, the ringer sounds like a bloody ship's horn.

In my happy drunken haze, I don't want to answer.

What if it's Edward?

What if it's _her?_

What would I say to_ her_ if I answered? "Hello, husband-stealing whore, how are things with you?"

Or, " Hi, skank-of-an-ex-best-friend, fancy meeting for coffee?"

I don't fucking think so, 'cause I would end up in jail for ripping _her_ head off.

My fuzzy head can't decide whose deceit is worse, Edward's or _hers._

While _Edward_ obviously thinks with his dick, what are _her _motives?

_She _can have any man she wants, why did _she _pick _mine_?

How could _she _take away the one person I cherished the most?

_She _has everything, perfect model looks, fantastic friends, and a fuck buddy on speed dial.

Why Edward?

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**What you say to ****_her_**** if you were Bella? **

**Remember to read all the entrants stories x**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N Thank you for your reviews and major thanks to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 xx**

**The story is inspired by ****Picking up the pieces - Paloma Faith ********www . youtube watch?v = oFWMBmiNY5k**

**xxxxxxxxx**

**_CHAPTER 14 BPOV_**

"Bella? Bella, where have you gone?" my drinking buddy laughs.

Hunter, as he introduced himself, is a fine drinking partner. He was happy to match me shot for shot, making me laugh, and making me blush with his innuendo. It's nice to feel sexy, it's nice to be complimented and flattered for once.

Wanted.

And Hunter made me feel wanted.

Dragging me up to dance to the shit euro pop the DJ was playing, Hunter put his arms up in the air, doing this mad, sort of rave dance. I laugh, joining him, letting go for the first time in weeks.

****It isn't until he slips his arms around my waist whispering, "Come home with me," in my ear, that sense suddenly appears.

If I go with him, will that make me even with Edward, or just as bad as him?

The sensible, moral side of me reminds me that I'm not that type of person, and I that I have always taken my vows seriously.

The betrayed side says fuck it, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If Edward can do it, so can I.

The words of my song float around in my head in answer.  
**  
****_Perfect heart, she's flawless_****  
****_She's the other woman_****  
****_Shining in her splendour_****  
****_You were lost_**

Smirking at Hunter, I lift my bag, and head for the door.

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**Is Bella right/wrong? Let me know what you would do x**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Thank you for your reviews. Thanks to Mona for her never ending support and to TwiLighT7242 for putting my words in the right order:)**

**Twilight belongs to Stephanie.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

CHAPTER 15 EPOV

I stretch out, relieving the ache in my back and neck.

Looking at the clock, I see its already 7am.

Shit, I must have slept through Bella coming home.

I get up and put the kettle on for coffee, thinking she will need it to start her off today.

I make it just the way she likes and stick on some toast too. I'm sure after her bender last night she will need something in her stomach too.

Once it's all done, I gather the items on a tray, and head to the guest room. Opening the door, I notice the bed still made. She must have slept in our bed.

Heading down the hall, I open our bedroom door, and Bella's not there.

Dropping the tray on the floor, I slide down the door, defeated.

Fuck, she didn't come home.

What am I going to do?

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Please review, let me know how I'm doing x**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Thank you for your reviews, the response to this wee story has stumped me, you have all been fantastic. I'm trying to reply to your reviews, but if I don't get to answer back everyone you send, please know that I have read them all and I appreciate everyone of them x**

**Huge hugs to my girls for their help...you know who you are x**

**Just a wee short one from Ed x**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 16 EPOV**

Panicking, I call and call Bella, but as expected I get no answer.

I try calling anyone I think she may have stayed with, but I have no luck.

Realizing the time, I finally head to work, hoping she will be here when I return.

Work is just shit. I can't concentrate at all.

My fingers keep twitching to call Bella. I'm so worried.

I hope she's safe.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Do you feel sorry for him, or is he getting what he deserves?**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Thanks to Mona Rider and TwiLighT7242 for their love and support...Luv u ladies x**

**Thank you for reading and for your passionate reviews x**

** Twilight belongs to SM**

**And its back to Bella...**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 17 BPOV**

"Ugh! Fuck, my head is pounding," I mumble to no-one in particular.

I inwardly curse myself for drinking so much, as I turn around to get off my..."Shit, where am I?" I exclaim, quickly realizing I'm not in my own bed.

My eyes dart around the unfamiliar room, searching to see if there is anything I recognize.

I sit on the edge, scared to move just in case I find another person, or from the fear I might disturb my stomach that at present is churning.

Realizing I can't hold it in, I run to the nearest door, hoping deep down it's the bathroom.

Luckily for me it is. As I lean over the bowl, memories of the night before come rushing to the front of my mind; the photos, destroying my house, and then destroying the bottle of Patron at the bar. My stomach forcefully empties, as I recall leaving with Hunter.

Fuck, what have I done.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**OOhhh Bella has a few regrets! What are your worst drinking regrets? Let me know x**

**Remember read the other entries x**

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	18. Chapter 18

**A/N Thank you to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 x**

**Ed and Bells belong to SM, as if we could forget!**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 18 BPOV**

A large pair of hands lift my sobbing frame from the toilet and prop me up against the sink.

In my peripheral I can see the hands moving to the toothbrush holder, taking out a brush and covering it in paste. The hands thrust the brush towards me, gesturing for me to clean up.

I'm so ashamed, I can't even look up to see who the hand belongs to.

I put the brush in my mouth, relishing the feeling of freshness and reach out to the water, cleaning the brush to repeat the process.

Knowing I have to face the consequences, I finally look up.

Right into deep brown eyes.

Belonging to Jake.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**You didn't think I would let Bella go home with Hunter did you?**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Thank you to my laydeeessss...**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 19 BPOV**

"Morning, Chicken," Jake laughs. "You look rough. Can't handle the tequila, babes."

I stand there dumbstruck. I have no idea how I ended up here. I'm sure I left with Hunter...

… unless he's here, too.

Unless I...No, I couldn't have been here...with both of them...could I?

Panicking, I start gasping for breath.

Jake gently takes my face in his hands, "Don't panic Bella, nothing happened with us. Your, um...not my type...um, if you know what I mean."

"Um, Ok," I stammer. "How'd I get here then? I don't remember anything, except leaving the bar with Hunter, after that, it's a blank."

Jake starts laughing.

"That's 'cause you passed out. You got outside and the fresh air hit you and down you went. I followed you out when you left with Hunter. He's a sleazeball, Bella, and I know that you are angry with Edward, but you would have regretted it in the morning. You can repair your marriage at the moment, but if you slept with Hunter you would have been crippled with guilt, ruining everything."

Jake's amusement is long gone and his words leave me empty.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Don't you just love Jake...when he's gay lol...please review x**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N...I love my girls, I wouldn't be here with out them x**

**Thank you for you kind reviews x**

**I don't own Twilight, just this wee ditty x**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

CHAPTER 20 BPOV

"Hunter had you in his car blacked out, Bella," Jake says, briskly. "God only knows what he could have done to you in that state. I ran after him and pulled you out of the car. He wasn't amused, hence the bruise I have on my cheek."

Looking up to his face I see a multi-colored swelling on his cheek. "Oh, Jake, I'm so sorry," I sob out. My inability to handle my anger had gotten us both into trouble.

"Don't worry, Bells. I got a few good punches in, too. He should have a decent shiner and a few sore ribs today," he answers gleefully.

"I brought you back here to sleep it off. I didn't think you would want Edward to see you in that state. Plus, in the struggle to get you, your top ended up torn. I just didn't think it would look good to him."

"Thanks, Jake, I hardly know you, but you've been a great friend, and the only ally I have at the moment," I whisper.

Handing me one of his t-shirts, he says, "Come on, Kid. Let's get you back home."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Ok that's me til tomorrow. I will post another 15 chapters over Sat.**

**Like? or Not, let me know x**


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N Thank you for reading and reviewing. I can't believe you have put me over the hundred mark, I honestly thought I would be lucky to get 10. You peeps are amazing 3**

** Thank you to Mona and TwiLighT7242 for keeping me sane :P**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 21 EPOV**

The rest of the day flies by; typical when there is something at home you don't want to deal with.

But I need to do this for my own sanity.

During the drive home, I plan what I want to say. I want to know where she went last night and where she stayed.

Why didn't she even have the courtesy to text and let me know where she was and that she was taken care of? I'm at least owed with that, aren't I?

But most importantly I need to talk things over with her and come to some sort of understanding of what we both want. I thought Bella stayed because she still loved me, but after her disappearing act last night, I'm not so sure.

Where did she stay and who the fuck with?

What if she met another guy? She wouldn't do that to me would she?

I need to explain to my wife what happened between me and _her_.

I need to tell Bella what _she _promised me.

I know I sound like I'm placing all the blame on _her, _but I don't know how else to explain it.

_She's _a temptress, a siren - _she _has to be to lure me away from Bella.

_She _played on my weaknesses._ She_ inferred that Bella was neglecting me by working so much, and that she must not have loved me as much as I loved her, because she was so focused on her music._ She_ implied that I was a weak man for not putting my foot down with my own wife, making sure she was at home obeying me, like _she _was willing to do.

Sadly, I took _her _up in that offer.

How _she _persuaded me.

How _she _tempted me away from my perfect life.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Good/Bad?**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N Again Thank you for reading and for your kind reviews. Huge Hugs to my Girls...you know who you are xx**

**Twilight belongs to SM**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 22 EPOV**

When I get home, Bella is sitting in her music room scribbling away in her notebook and playing parts of a song on her guitar.

I can't place the song; it must be new.

The tune mangles me up inside. It's angry, demanding yet so full of hurt and sorrow.

I wonder if she will ask my opinion on it like she used to, or if she will close that part of herself off me, too.

She looks like she is lost in the music, so being the spineless man that I am, I leave her to it and head to the shower. I can't face the fight that will surely arise.

I will talk to her in the morning.

I _will_.

The hot water running down my back eases the stress of the day away. Thinking of Bella in her tiny shorts and tank, strumming away on her guitar has me hard. I take my cock in my hand, and slowly, but firmly start moving it up and down, imagining it is Bella's hand instead. It's bliss. I start moving faster, thinking of what it feels like to have Bella's mouth on me, or how hot it is when I'm buried deep inside her. I can feel my climax quickly coming, fuck it's been so long. Just as my orgasm hits, _her _face invades my fantasy, and I cry out in anguish - not pleasure - squirting all over the wall.

I can't hold back the tears any longer.

Not only has _she _ruined my marriage, _she's _ruining my fantasies as well.

Fuck, I hate _her_.

**xxxxxxxxx**

**Do you feel sorry for him or is he getting his just desserts?**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N Wuv to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLightT7242 xx**

**Thank you again for you reviews, PM's and for sharing your personal experiences with me 3  
**

**Stephanie owns Edward and Bella, and I own nothing but a huge ball off jealousy :(**

**annndd on that note its back to Bella...**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**_CHAPTER 23 BPOV_**

I hear Edward come home, and I'm fully aware that he is in the doorway watching me, but I can't even find the strength within myself to acknowledge him tonight. I'm too ashamed and embarrassed over my behavior last night.

I don't know why I'm feeling like this after what he's done, but I still don't look up, and out of the corner of my eye, I can see him slinking away with his head bowed.

I miss him.

I miss the feeling of wholeness he gives me. I miss our friendship, companionship, and after the feelings I had last night with Hunter, I realize I most of all miss the intimacy between us. I can't help but think that must have been a lie, too. After all, if our sex life was so good, why did he look to _her?_

I hear the shower starting, and I start making my way towards him, thinking I should perhaps make an effort; I need to, if I want to get our marriage on track.

Entering the bedroom, I hear Edward in the shower, groaning, mumbling out my name. _What's he doing? _Oh, he can't be, can he? He's in there, jacking off, thinking about me...

My heart swells with hope.

I place my hand on the handle, about to turn it when, I hear him sob uncontrollably.

I back away, shocked. My heart wants me to run to him, offer comfort and support.

My head wants me to get the fuck out of there, protect my heart and soul before he crushes it again.

Moving quietly back to my music room, my head wins.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Did Bella do the right thing? What would you have done?**

**Remember give the other drabble war Ladies some love xx**

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	24. Chapter 24

**A/N Love you guys j/s 3**

**Another shortie x**

**xxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 24 EPOV  
**

Bella has been kind of off with me for the last few days. I don't know what I've done now, other than the obvious.

The weekends are the hardest. While I normally would be having a lazy morning in bed with Bella, or taking a stroll around the park, hand in hand, Bella is in the kitchen, doing god knows what, and I'm in the living room, staring at the TV.

I miss her smile, her infectious laugh, her giggle when she's up to mischief.

I miss her cuddles, her small kisses to my forehead while she's passing me, or her deep, longing, passionate kisses when she's feeling horny...

Fuck, I miss everything about her.

Now, I just have to reap the consequences of my actions, and fix the mistake I made. I have to put _her _behind me and move forward.

I have to repair my relationship with Bella.

I have to.

I can't survive without her.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Are you feeling sorry for E yet?**

**Please Review x**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N Big smooches to Leslie, Farah, Mona and Fran xxx**

**Thank you for you lovely words and for reading this wee drabble x**

**All mistakes are mine, I like to tweak.**

**Twilight as you know belongs to Mrs Meyer.**

**Enjoy...**

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 25 BPOV**

My phone rings, but I don't really want to talk to anyone.

I eventually summon enough courage to pick up my phone, it's Alice.  
After so many weeks, she finally calls. Is she still my friend or is she on _her _side?

I then decide to get it over with and answer.

And I'm so glad I did. Alice is furious with Edward and _her. _Threatening to cut his balls off and pop the cheating bitch's implants.

I laugh out loud, enjoying the girly banter with my other best friend, and now, my only best friend.

I spend the next few hours spilling my guts out to her, telling my feelings, my worries, and fears. Being the whirlwind that she is, Alice put me in my place. She tells me I did nothing wrong, and that they were to blame, not me. She consoles me when I tell her about Hunter, telling me she understands why it felt good to be viewed as sexy, to feel wanted, but made sure I knew that she thought the situation I put myself in was dangerous and made me promise to never do that again. Lastly, she says I could go to her instead.

I don't know if I believe her. It's good to hear the words from someone, although she's not the person I really need to hear them from.

She tells me there's an open-mic night in the club down the road in a few weeks, and that I should come along.

I agree to go because her husband Jasper is playing and his talent is just amazing.

She tries to convince me to play, too, but I can't.

My song isn't ready, and I don't know if I can do it with Edward there.

Yet, I don't think I can do it without him.

The fucking meddling pixie won't take no for an answer, so I reluctantly get back to my note book.

**_And now she's gone  
_**_**And I'm picking up the pieces**_**_  
_**_**I watch you cry**_**_  
But you don't see, that I'm the one by your side  
Cause she's gone  
And in her shadow, is it me you see?  
Cause all that's left is you and I  
And I'm picking up the pieces  
_**_**She left behind.**_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxx**_

**Do you have a friend like Alice? Tell me about her/him xx**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N If your reading this, then thank you for still hanging around lol...**

**I tell you, you lot are a hard bunch to crack, there is zero love for Edward lol..  
**

**I've know I've spoken to few of you via PM, because you are wondering why Bella is still there and why she is putting up with his bs. Well Bella is me and this was how I dealt with the situation. Ignored it, blamed myself hoped it would get better because he was my first everything and I didn't want to be on my own. I was young and scared, and rightly or wrongly I stayed. Now the situation would be different, coz I'm a much stronger person, and think more highlyof myself. I hope this helps you see where Bella is coming from. xxxx  
**

**I own all the mistakes in this and SM own Twilight...**

**Enjoy**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**_CHAPTER 26 BPOV_**

This is agony.

Complete fucking torture.

Edward's in the living room watching TV, well, pretending to. Since when does he watch fucking golf?

I'm in the kitchen, pretending I'm busy.

My thoughts are all over the place, and I think I've run over the sink with this cloth about five times now. Fuck me, it's sparkling.

Should I bite the bullet and just talk to him, ask him if he wants to go out to the lake? Perhaps the fresh air will do us good?

After speaking to Alice and listening to her gush over Jasper, I realize I want us to be _that _couple again - the one that everyone looks at in envy, the one holding hands, so in love with each other.

Like we used to be.

I think I want to get back to that place again. I think I can forgive him, put his indiscretion in the past, and get back to being that couple everyone wants to be.

But he needs to tell me that's what he wants, too.

He needs to make an effort to show me how he feels, if he wants to go back to how we were. I'm aware there may be a huge chance that he's only stayed with me out of obligation, because it's easy and comfortable. He doesn't know I heard him cry in the shower, he doesn't know I see the remorse in his face. But I can't make out if that is for hurting me, or is it because he misses _her._

I need his words.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Please review x**


	27. Chapter 27

**_A/N Love to Leslie, Mona, Farah for pre-reading and TwiLighT7242 for Beta'ing x_**

**_Thank you for reading and reviewing x  
_**

**_It's back to Ed x_**

**_xxxxxxxxxx_**

**_CHAPTER 27 EPOV_**

I finally find the courage to talk to Bella a bit over dinner.

I ask her how she's been, how's work going, how she's been sleeping in the spare room? Anything, except what I really need to ask.

Can she forgive me? Will she forgive me?

I should tell her I'm sorry and beg on my knees.

I am sorry, so fucking sorry, but I don't know how to tell her or where to start.

She answers me with "Fine", and all men know that when a woman answers with 'fine', that means she is warning you she is anything but.

I don't eat much and neither does Bella. The tension in the room is so thick I could cut it with a knife.

"Is your food ok? You've hardly eaten anything." Bella's voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"It's good, baby," I answer. "I'm just not that hungry, that's all."

"Ok," she replies meekly, facing down to her plate again.

Fuck, this is painful. Our conversation is so stilted and strained. At least we're trying, though.

It wasn't this hard before _her._

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Review? Let me know what you think x**

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	28. Chapter 28

**A/N Thank you for continuing to read. **

**Pre-read by Mona, Leslie and Farah**

**Beta'd by TwiLighT7242**

**Luv u guys xx**

**xxxxxxxxx**

******_CHAPTER 28 BPOV_**

I went back to work this week, hoping to get back to normalcy.

Edward has been working late this week, so he can have all weekend off to go to Jasper's gig. I haven't told him I will be singing, too. I don't want him to ask about my song. I don't want him to know I plan on singing all my feelings and thoughts on our relationship to loads of people.

I hope he doesn't get mad. I hope he isn't upset that I didn't come to him first, but I just don't know how to broach the subject after being closed off for so long.

I have decided to make an effort tonight and go to our bed instead of the spare room. I need to show Edward my intentions, show him that I am prepared to try and forget about _her._

**_xxxxxxxxxx_**

**_Like/Dislike?_**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N Thanks to my girls...**

**Twilight belongs to SM, mistakes belong to me.**

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

******_CHAPTER 29 EPOV_**

After a long, shitty day - in fact, a long shitty _week_ - I just want to go home and get into my bed.

I can't deal with anything tonight. I need to sleep.

So, imagine my surprise when I get home to find Bella in the shower in our en-suite bathroom. It wouldn't have been such a big deal, but she hasn't set foot in this room for weeks except to get her clothes. She's certainly never dressed in here, yet her nightwear is sitting at the foot of the bed. I sit next to it, feeling speechless.

I'm still sitting there at the end of the bed when Bella comes out of the bathroom clad in only a towel.

"Hey, baby," she says quietly, walking by me to get her PJ's. "How are you?"

I don't answer. I'm momentarily distracted by the water running down her collarbone, heading for the juncture between her breasts. I can't help but be a tad jealous of that droplet.

"Edward?"

Giving myself an internal shake, I finally answer her.

"I'm good. Just a bit tired. It's been a long week. How's your day been?"

"My day was good, too. I've enjoyed being back at work, actually," she answers, dropping her towel down, beginning to dry herself.

And...my mind has disappeared, gone to places my body can only dream of.

My eyes travel down her long, lean legs, over the contours of her back, up to her slender neck, as she dries the front of her body. Turning around to face me, she stretches her arms around, rubbing her back with her towel, unintentionally pushing her fantastic tits towards me. I can't turn away when she's this flawless, absolutely fucking perfect.

It makes me want to kick my own ass.

What was I thinking straying from this beauty, with _her?_

As Bella put on her shorts and tank, I do what I need to do in the bathroom, hoping that Bella wasn't just giving me a show, and that she will still be in our bedroom when I return.

And she is. She's in the bed. I can't keep the smile off my face as I slip in beside her.

It's such a big step she's made for us. I hope I don't fuck it up.

"Can I hug you?" I ask her tentatively, holding my breath, awaiting an answer.

"Yes," she quietly responds, and I feel like all my Christmases have come at once.

Slowly letting out a contented sigh, I gently slip my arm around her waist.

All thoughts of _her _are well and truly forgotten, and for the first time in months, I slept like a baby.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Well a bit of effort is being made by them both...what do you think?**


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N Thank you for still being here lol...**

**Love to Mona and Fran, for being patient and supportive...**

**Enjoy!**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

******_CHAPTER 30 BPOV_**

I wake up embraced in Edward's arm. It feels like home.

I'm cocooned in the heat of his body, and momentarily, it makes me forget about the last few months. Until I feel his morning wood jammed up against my ass.

Heat envelopes my body and I involuntarily push against Edward, eliciting a moan from deep within him. The noise makes me realize I'm not ready for this yet, so I reluctantly pull away, feeling utterly frustrated.

Leaving to let Edward sleep, I creep out of the bed, heading to the bathroom to take care of my morning needs. Quietly, I turn on the shower and wait on it heating up. Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I am pleasantly surprised at what I see. I look well rested, a bit less stressed, and actually, a little flushed.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Like?**

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	31. Chapter 31

**A/N Again thank you for reading and reviewing. I've got some family stuff going on tomorrow, instead of posting the next 5, I'm going to give you the next 10, then the remainder at some point tomorrow. I hope that's OK.**

**Big Kisses to Fran xxx  
**

**Here's Bella...**

**_xxxxxxxxxx_**

**_CHAPTER 31 BPOV_**

Getting in the warm water, I moan as I feel any remaining tension wash away. I should be nervous about the gig tonight, but, for some reason, I'm not. I think it's because a resolution is near, and I will be able to move on, one way or another.

I grab the shower gel and generously lather it up on my sponge. Rubbing the sweet smelling soap all over me feels divine. I quietly hum to myself, still feeling a little turned on from lying next to Edward's hard on.

Deciding to do what I haven't done in months, I pull down the shower head and turn it to the massage setting. I aim the spray on my nipples and can't help but feel the sparks shoot straight to my pussy. As I cannot wait any longer, I direct the spray on my clit. I think of Edward lying in bed with his big hard cock standing proud for me. I remember how it feels in my mouth, pulsing and leaking. I remember how it feels deep inside me while he has me bent over the kitchen table, because we couldn't make it to the bedroom. My poor pussy has been so neglected, so it doesn't take long to work me into a frenzy. Finally, I come hard, hissing out Edward's name in pleasure.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Enjoy?**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N Thank you for continuing to read, and thanks to Leslie, Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 for their help x**

**SM owns Twilight, not me.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**_CHAPTER 32 EPOV_**

I wake up to an empty bed - which is disappointing - thinking Bella has left through the night. It's not until I register the sound of the shower going, that I realize she is in there.

Needing to take care of my morning business, I walk to the bathroom. I hesitate, unsure whether Bella will want me to come in there with her like we used to. I decide to just go in; she can kick me out if she's unhappy.

I quietly open the door. The sight that greets me is nothing short of glorious.

Bella is standing in the shower with her back to me. Her long hair is wet and her ass is on display for me. I notice she has her leg up on the bench at the side of the shower.

Walking closer to get a better view, I see she is all soaped up and rubbing her breasts, eliciting moans each time she rubs them. She has the shower head directed at her pussy. Oh, fuck, she's getting herself off!

Like the pervert that I am, I stand back and enjoy the show. She's still unaware I'm here as she quickly brings herself to climax, calling out _my _name.

I skip - yes, men skip, too - out the bathroom, almost screaming in glee. She wants me. She still fucking wants me.

I think I have a chance to make amends. I have to. I should never have been tempted by _her._ I _will_ fight for my marriage. I _will_ fight for Bella.

Can this day get any better?

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Please Review x**

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	33. Chapter 33

**A/N Seriously luv you ladies...Thanks to my team xx**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

******_CHAPTER 33 BPOV_**

I spend the morning practicing my song, hoping I can get it perfect tonight. There's a lot riding on it. Despite working extra all week, Edward had to go in today, so he's just meeting me at the club. Alice knows what I have planned and insisted on keeping secret from Jasper, too, just in case he blabs.

Luckily, Alice knows Emmett, the guy who owns The Stand, well. He has agreed to keep my name off of the programme so Edward doesn't find out.

Unfortunately, he was one of the conquests _she _chewed up and spat out. He is all for helping Edward and I get over the affair, in any way he can... even if he wants to give Edward's ass a kick for his actions.

I'm playing the piano tonight, but I put my iPod with my backing music in my bag just in-case, and I'm all set. I then head off to the shower to start getting ready. I'm not a dress-up type of girl, but tonight warrant the extra effort.

I wash and thoroughly condition my hair, and, eventually, after shaving my legs, arms and lady parts, I clean my body with Edward's favourite body wash.

After putting on some smoky eye make-up, I apply a coat of scarlet red lipstick. I'm planning on wearing black skinny jeans and a red sequinned one-shouldered top, but my matching red glitter Christian Louboutin's are the show piece. Red is Edward's favorite color on me and he loves seeing my long legs in heels. I'm hoping the outfit will dull the shock of him hearing me sing.

When I'm finally all ready and patiently awaiting on Alice and Jasper to pick me up, I have a few shots to calm my nerves. I hope Edward likes what I am about to do.

By the time Alice arrives, I'm pleasantly buzzed.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Let me know how I'm doing x**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N Thanks for reading and reviewing. Hugs to my girlies x**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_**CHAPTER 34 EPOV**_

What. A. Fucking. Day.

I really wanted to spend the day with Bella. She's been making an effort to talk and spend time with me. Even though it's still a bit strained, I appreciate the fact that she's trying. I had hoped to take her out to lunch, or have a walk around the art gallery, but that didn't happen, because I had to work again.

I knew I would be late, so I told Bella just to go ahead with Jasper and Alice and I would meet her there. I was so late finishing, that by the time I got home, showered and changed, I just made it in time for the show to start.

"Who's all playing tonight?" I asks Jas.

"Um, ehm...just me that you know Ed man...that's all," he answers.

"Oookay. So what's up you acting a bit shifty? You nervous? That's not like you man. You're always so cool and collected," I comment.

"Um, yeah," he quickly replies, "that's it... uhm... nerves"

Ok, he's acting strange.

I turn to look at Alice whose eyes are bearing a hole through Jasper, and then to Bella, who after giving me a quick smile, turns away.

What the hell is going on?

** xxxxxxxxxx**

**What the hell is going on? Keep reading to find out...**


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N Thanks to Leslie, Farah, Mona and Fran xx**

**This is the song I imagined Jasper singing, Ryan Adams cover of Oasis' Wonderwall**

**( www . youtube watch ? v = kzZhtrsbJzs & feature = fvst)... give it a listen, his voice is so haunting.**

**All mistakes are mine and Twilight is Stephanie's**

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

_**CHAPTER 35 BPOV**_

Jasper gives me a wink as he leaves the table to head to the wings of the stage. He's up next. He always wows the crowd; he has such an amazing talent.

My nerves are working their way up, and, despite bossy Alice warning me not to drink anymore, I can't even down a quick shot to calm them.

Jasper walks onto the stage as Emmett introduces him. He eases himself into a cool rendition of Ryan Adams' version of 'Wonderwall'. The whole venue is completely silent. It's like everyone is in a trance-like state, focused on Jasper's haunting voice and the quiet strum of his guitar.

I'm up next, and I'm shaking with nerves. I can see Edward looking at my vibrating body with one eyebrow arched in silent question.

I excuse myself, using a trip to the toilet as a reason to leave for the stage side.

On hearing Edward's voice asking if I'm ok, I turn nodding, and in the background, I see Ali give me a thumbs up. Taking a deep breath, I walk on.

It's now or never...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Thanks for reading x**


	36. Chapter 36

**_CHAPTER 36 EPOV_**

Where has Bella gotten to?

She's been gone for ages and next to Alice, she's Jasper's biggest fan, never missing a show.

"I'm just going to check on Bella," I tell Alice.

I'm halfway out of my seat when Alice squeals, "No, E... um... she'll be fine. Just leave her. Um... I need a drink... yes... go get me a drink!"

Turning to look at her like she is mad, Alice looks at the floor, regains her composure, and then again orders me to the bar.

What is with these people tonight? I know things have been awkward since _her_, but tonight they have been acting just plain weird. Even Bella.

I shake my head and walk to the bar. I order the drinks, thinking about what Bella is wearing tonight. She knows I love her in red, and, _fuck_ me, the heels she has on makes her legs look never ending. Shit, I'm getting hard just thinking about her!

The barman hands the tray of drinks over to me just as Emmett introduces the next act. I can't quite make out what he is saying over the applause and hollers from the audience. The Stand is packed to capacity, and it takes me a few minutes to weave my way through to get to our table.

Bella still isn't back, but Alice is bouncing in her seat, and Jasper has an amused grin in his face. He cocks his head towards the stage, encouraging me to turn.

I hear the first notes of the song that the next artist is playing. My brain registers the recognition. Sharply turning, I see Bella perched on the stool next to a piano.

She's looking right at me.

Like I'm the only person in the room.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

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	37. Chapter 37

**A/N Another wee shortie...**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**_CHAPTER 37 BPOV_**

Standing at the side of the stage, waiting for Emmett to introduce me, was like waiting for the electric chair. Ok, I'm exaggerating, but the wait was torture.

My mind's going wild.

What would Edward do?

Would he stay and listen to my words or will he walk away?

Will he be angry? Will he cry?

Suddenly, I hear the words I have been waiting for. "The next act performing on the stage is better known for her lyric-writing skills, but tonight you will have the great honor of hearing her sing one of her own songs, so please put your hands together for Bella Cullen."

"Come on, Bella," Emmett whisper-shouts to me as the audience claps wildly.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Can she do it?**


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N This story was inspired by this song by Paloma Faith...**

**(This is the version I see Bella singing on the stage, but I imagine her voice to be much softer than Paloma's www . youtube watch?v = sfBPhuMmS1w )**

**Despite TwiLighT7242 being a word genius, I got a bit tweaky, therefore all mistakes are mine...**

***I needed a tissues when writing this chapter...so TISSUE WARNING just in case your a sap like me***

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 38 EPOV**

I can't take my eyes off of my wife sitting on that stage even though she has looked away from me to the piano. She is so beautiful sitting there in her element, surrounded by her music, playing her creations.

There's something about this song. She's been working on it a lot lately, perfecting it.

Was this why? Was she perfecting it for me?

My heart aches as she turns to look at me again, words pouring from her mouth.

**_"Do you think of her,_**

**_When you're with me?_**

**_Repeat the memories you made together_**

**_Whose face do you see?_**

**_Do you wish I was a bit more like her?_**

**_Am I too loud? I pay the clown to cover up_**

**_All these doubts ..."_**

Oh, God.

My heart is palpitating. She can't think that I want to be with _her_! I want to go back to how we were. I want our happy married life back. I don't want _her_!

Bella continues.

**_"Perfect Heart, she's flawless_**

**_She's the other woman_**

**_Shining in her splendor_**

**_You were lost ..."_**

_"Oh Bella,"_ my mind shouts. _"She was nothing compared to you. You're the perfect one with your kind heart and soul. She is pretty, yes, but you're the flawless one."_

Bella's beautiful voice goes on.

**_"Now she's gone_**

**_and I'm picking up the pieces_**

**_I watch you cry_**

**_But you don't see that I'm the one by your side_**

**_Cause she's gone_**

**_In her shadow, is it me that you see?_**

**_Cause all that's left is you and I_**

**_And I'm picking up the pieces_**

**_She left behind ..."_**

Is this how my baby feels? I had no idea.

Doesn't she see I'm here with her because I want to be? There was never any choice. Bella will always win. She's not a shadow; she's the sun. I should never have strayed. I'm the weak one, relying on Bella to be strong and get us through. I should have been the one making the extra effort, showing Bella that I am worthy of her.

I'm sobbing now while while listening to her singing on;

**_"I found her photograph_**

**_Behind the TV_**

**_You looked so happy, are you missing the way it used to be?_**

**_now I have changed this room around more often lately_**

**_It's clear that me and these four walls_**

**_Still know it's hers and yours_**

**_Perfect heart, she's flawless_**

**_The other woman_**

**_Shining in her splendor_**

**_You were lost ..."_**

The pain in Bella's voice is evident. I can feel the hurt crushing her. _Us._ I should have spoken up sooner, cleared up all the confusion. I thought I was doing the right thing not talking, saving her the pain of a fight. Instead, she just saved the pain up, and blamed herself, not me.

My body begins to slump in devastation, and I feel Alice's small arms wrap around me, urging me on. "Listen to her, E. Listen to what she's trying to tell you."

So I do.

**_"Are we liars?_**

**_In denial_**

**_Are we smoke without fire?_**

**_Tell me please_**

**_Is it worth it?_**

**_I deserve it ..."_**

"No, baby, no!" I cry out.

I need to go to her.

I need to tell her were worth fighting for.

We can get it back, I know we can.

We will be consumed by love, fire, and passion again. I know we will.

Rising from my seat, I listen as Bella concludes the song.

**_"Cause she's gone_**

**_And I'm picking up the pieces_**

**_I watch you cry_**

**_But don't you see, I'm the one by your side_**

**_Cause she's gone,_**

**_In her shadow, is it me you see?_**

**_Cause all that's left is you and I_**

**_And I'm picking up the pieces_**

**_She left behind ..."_**

I am so proud of my girl. She was always too scared to go on the stage, always doubting her talent, wanting to stay in the background with her writing. I'm sad that my actions are the ones that pushed her there, but nevertheless, she did it.

She sat behind that piano, pouring her feelings out to me, telling me about all the hurt I made her feel, and telling me that she is here and that I am pushing her into the background, isolating her.

Well, not any-fucking-more.

The audience goes crazy for my girl, standing, banging and screaming for more.

"Go to her Edward," Alice shouts over the crowd. "Show her how you feel, this is your chance. Fucking GO!"

No need to tell me twice.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**What'd you think?**


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N Thanks to Farah, Mona and TwiLighT7242 x**

**A wee surprise for you...**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_**CHAPTER 39 Her POV**_

I'm standing at the back of the club, really damn surprised that I even got admittance, and that was only because Emmett wasn't at the door. However, I doubt the doormen would have recognized me with my new blonde hair. Being a brunette was fun and all, but the blonde is definitely getting me more male attention.

Jasper was only on the stage a moment ago, singing in his creepy voice. Urgh! I just don't get him. I handed myself on plate to him, turning up backstage naked, but he turned me down. I mean, I'm _me_, and he chose Alice, that bossy pixie bitch. Fuck, she's the size and shape of a pre-pubescent teen, and he picked her over me. The guy must be blind. Maybe I should try again, he might prefer blondes.

While that big hunk of man meat Emmett is introducing the next act, I turn to the barman and order another vodka, and who do I spy at the end of the bar? Mmm, mmm, mmm... Edward _freaking_ Cullen, the only one that got away from me. I didn't kick him to the curb, he pushed me. I think I should rectify that now.

Just as I head in the direction of Edward, he turns and walks away, heading to his table to join my former friends Alice and Jasper. Suddenly, Edward halts, looking up towards the stage.

Well, well, well, look who's grown a pair. Mousy Bella has suddenly gained some confidence. Look at her, sitting there showing off her so-called talent, singing her little heart out to the love of her life. Stupid cow, she really believed that, too. Love of her life, ha! It only took a few twists of the truth, and a flash of my fabulous titties, and Edward was putty in my hands.

He was so easily persuaded. I just kindly pointed out that Bella was so wrapped up in her song-writing that she didn't have time to give him the kind of love he deserved; that she was neglecting her wifely duties by spending more time at work, instead of taking care of his needs; that she should be making the time to make sure her hardworking man was fed, clothed, appreciated and most of all, sexually satisfied. So I nicely offered to do all that for him, especially the sexual satisfaction part, and I was extremely happy to oblige him in that.

And I was so pleased Edward took me up on my offer.

Why should that plain bitch get all the happiness?

She has no redeeming qualities. She's plain, boring, a selfish lover and friend, and totally untalented. Who even listens to the songs she's written anyway? She is the opposite of me, and a man like Edward deserves _me_. I only took him because she had him.

I look at her on the stage, singing her little heart out about having to pick up the pieces that I left behind, hoping that Edward will see what a waste of his time she really is. She really thinks he will go back to her, and that she's enough to keep him, when he could have _me_. She really is going to be embarrassed when he laughs in her face, because he will.

Suddenly I get pulled out of my musings by a tug on my arm. Sharply turning round, I see the furious face of Emmett.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he snarls. "Haven't you made a big enough fool out of me? Are you back to twist the knife in more?"

"Oh, Emmett," I snort," I'm not here for you. You were just a means to an end, a way to get closer to my prize. Edward Cullen was the one I wanted, never you."

A flash of hurt crosses his face, quickly followed up by an amused laugh.

"You really are a nasty, deluded piece of work. I'm well aware you used me to get to E, and that may have fucking worked for a short time, but he will never be yours. You aren't a patch on Bella. You were a means to an end, too, you silly cow. He had to make the mistake to realize what a precious love he was holding in his hands, but he never, ever would have left her for you."

"Don't talk shit, Emmett, I will have Edward as my own; mousy Bella will never keep him. She doesn't have half of what I have. Her sitting up there, sniveling to him, won't get him back in her arms." I laugh back at him.

"Oh, bitch, you are _sooo_ wrong. Take a look," Emmett haughtily retorts.

I turn round to see Edward barreling to the stage. He jumps up and swings Bella around, sobbing out how sorry he is, that I was a big mistake, and begging for forgiveness.

I slam my glass down, preparing to tear him from Bella's embrace. But before I can put my foot forward to walk, I am lifted off my feet and dragged out of the bar.

As Emmett throws me out onto the street, I lose my footing, landing on my backside.

I look up to his smug face just in time to see Bella joining him at his side.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish." She chuckles. Locking up the door, he walks away, leaving me in the gutter.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Well did you like her or think she was an utter bitch like I did?**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N Thank you, thank you, thank you..for all your reviews. I am really struggling to reply to them all but will do my best. I do read everyone of them and your support is appreciated.  
**

**Luv to Mona and Fran xxx  
**

**Now that's out of the way..on with the show.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

CHAPTER 40 BPOV

Finishing up the last few notes of the song, I take a deep breath and look up. I wasn't expecting the massive applause I was receiving from the audience nor was I expecting to see Edward bollting to the stage with an unreadable expression on his face.

He had fresh tear tracks on his face, and his beautiful green eyes were brimming with tears.

Were they for me?

Were they tears of apology, or tears of anger and frustration?

Had I pushed him too far; far enough to push him away?

_Please Edward_, I begged internally.

Please end this uncertainty.

Please let me know if you still want me.

Please let me put this unrest to an end.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Review...pretty purlease xx**


	41. Chapter 41

**A/N Thank you for still being here :**)

**Love to Mona and Fran xxx**

**Bella and Edward belong to SM, only the mistakes are mine.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**_CHAPTER 41 EPOV_**

As Bella finishes the last words of her song to me, I find my legs forcefully pushing me towards the front of the room. Nothing and _no one_ in this world can stop me from reaching her.

I jump onto the stage and pull her tightly into my arms. In her ear, I whisper how sorry I am; how I would never let her down again; and how stupid I was to let her think she was second best to _her_.

The clapping from the audience eventually fades, and I can feel Bella curling in on herself, all her confidence and bravery ebbing away from her body. But I'm not going to have any of that. Never again will Bella put her head down, and shy away. I will make sure she always walks tall, and never feels insignificant ever again.

I gently usher her off of the platform, and behind the curtain.

"Let's go somewhere quiet and talk," I suggest.

**xxxxxxxx**

**What will he say?**

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	42. Chapter 42

**A/N Thanks to you know who..**

**xxxxxxxxx**

CHAPTER 42 BPOV

"_Oh, fuck,_" I think to myself as Edward utters the words I have been dreading. In my experience, whenever the words, "let's talk" are said, nothing good ever follows.

I trail behind him out of the bar and into the foyer. Edward excuses himself to the toilet, and seeing Emmett over by the main door, I decide to go and join him, intrigued at whatever commotion he is attending to.

I approach Emmett's side and take a look out of the door to see who he is tossing out. I never dreamed I would see _her_, ass first, in the gutter. I've always thought that if I ever see _her _again, I will have so much to say to _her,_ or that whoever is accompanying me will have to hold me back from hitting _her_, but seeing _her_ pathetic, fake face looking up at me from the street, all I could do is snicker. I may have been to hell and back because of what s_he_ did, but I just wouldn't lower myself to giving _her_ the chance to lie to me again or, knowing _her,_ try to condone _her_ behavior. At this point, I don't know if have a chance to repair things with E, but I would make damn sure _she_ wouldn't have him either.

Taking one last look at _her_, I laugh out. "Good riddance to bad rubbish." There is many things I could or should say to her, but I have more important issues to deal with tonight, and _her_ time will come. I quickly turn away and slam the door, leaving her in the street, right where she belongs.

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

**Go Bella!**


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N Thanks for you kind reviews, and thanks to Mona and Fran TwiLighT7242 for you never-ending help x**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 43 EPOV**

I come out of the bathroom door to see Emmett and Bella doubled over in laughter.

"What are you pair laughing at?" I inquire. "What's so funny?"

Bella gives Em a panicked look as he answers, " Nothing E, man. Just your chick... she um... has some good jokes."

I clearly know he's lying and trying to hide something, but because I do not want to ruin Bella's mood, I let it go.

"Ok, Em. We're heading off. Thanks for tonight, man," I say, giving him a one armed hug.

"No probs, Ed. Just get things sorted with your little lady," he warns me.

Heeding his warning, I put my arms around my wife, guiding her out of the door and into an idle cab.

I know I need to say something, but I don't even know where to begin. I'm predicting the reasons I'm going to give her won't go down well. Finally, I figure an apology is the best place to start.

Looking at her, I say, "Bella, I am so sorry for what I've done to us, and most especially, to you. I was the one who wronged you. I never meant to make you feel confused about my intentions, nor make you feel second best to Ro -"

"Don't even fucking say her name, Edward. And your apologies are meaningless until you explain why you did it," she interrupts sharply.

Oh, dear, it's not going to be as easy as I thought.

"I don't even know how to explain it, Bella. I knew you loved me, I knew that you were trying to expand your career, and I knew that you never neglected me on purpose, but it did at times feel like that. You would be away working with an artist or holed up in your music room, writing furiously, and I missed you and our time together. She was always around as a friend, and keeping me company when you were busy. She pointed out to me how often you were away and even when you were here, you were distracted. _She_ told me that I deserved more," I explain to her.

"The night it happened, you were working away in LA, you'd been there for three weeks and I was aching for you to come home. We had a few drinks, I was waiting for your call as you had promised, but your it never came, and I was so hurt._ She_ told me that I deserved better, that a wife should be home with her man, having a family and putting her needs to the side. _She_ praised my patience with you, but pointed out that if I was a real man, I would never have put up with "your career bullshit" as she put it for so long. My mind was vulnerable because of the drink, and I got angry with you, Bella. I tried calling but you didn't answer and I became so frustrated. Ro-_she_ hugged me and tried to calm me down. She told me that if I was _her_ man she would never leave my side, and _she_ would be a proper wife and worship the ground I walked on and submit to my every need."

I turned to see Bella's reaction to what I had just told her, only to find her beautiful face contorted with rage.

Aw, fuck.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Still hanging in there? Let me know what you think xx**


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N Love to Mona and Fran *mwah***

**All mistake are mine and mine alone.**

**Twilight belongs to Steph.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

CHAPTER 44 BPOV

Submit to his every need! What the fuck? That's not a relationship, that's fucking slavery!

Anger overtook me as I look into his eyes.

"So is that what you want, Edward, someone who will obey your every command, huh?" I spit at him. "I can understand your loneliness, Edward, but you should have spoken to me, not fucked my best friend! You always said you loved my independence and the fact that I was career–driven; what changed? 'Cause if a wife who stays home, and panders to your every whim is what you want, then that person is not me."

A look of astonishment shadowed his face, as he ponders on how to answer me.

But not giving him time to answer, I continue my rant on. "Is that why you cry at night, because you want to have a relationship like that, with her? I can't compete with that Edward. That's not who I am, but I love you enough to let you go. I don't want you unhappy... I don't want to hold you back," I go on, blind panic building up in my chest.

Edward's trying to speak, but I went on again despite the tears falling from my eyes. "Oh, I made such an ass of myself on stage. I thought that if I showed you my feelings... how much I wanted to fix things... to tell you I love you... it's all for noth -" Before I could even sob the last word out, Edward's lips met mine, finally silencing me. It had been so long since he kissed me, so I was momentarily stunned. The feelings of love and regret that he was putting into the kiss astounded me, and I felt my lips matching his, moving in a sequence that has been practiced many times before.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Good? Bad?**

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	45. Chapter 45

**A/N Thank you to my Girlies for their continuous support x**

**Twilight belongs to Sm and my heart belongs to you guys for the love you've given me x**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**CHAPTER 45 EPOV**

Shit! I forgot how quickly my girl could work herself into a panicked frenzy.

I tried to stop her ranting several times, but she was so worked up she couldn't hear me. It killed me to hear her words because she had gotten me wrong again. For the second time, I have miscommunicated what I was trying to say, and now I feel like a prize dick.

For some reason though, her anger turned me on and suddenly I thought the best way to silence her was to kiss her. Right or wrong, that's what I did. The instant my lips touched hers, I feel complete again.

She momentarily pauses, then opens her mouth to me, letting my tongue in to tangle and twist with hers. I have forgotten how good her lips tasted. The kiss slows down and I look into her eyes.

The cab finally pulls up outside our home. Thanking the driver and throwing him some money, I follow Bella into the house, knowing we have so much more to talk through.

I pull her towards the sofa and tell her, You got me wrong there, Bella. I don't want you to change. I love your independence and I don't resent your career._ She_ got me at a weak moment, and I let _her_ in. It's not a good enough excuse, I know, but that's what happened. I only slept with _her_ that drunken night. It never happened again, although she did try. When I refused _her_, she threatened to tell you, hoping I would give in. I didn't believe _her_, and _she _proved me wrong by telling you... and half the town," I say, hoping she will understand.

"I forgive you, Edward. I just need to know that, when you were crying, it was because you were sorry, and not because you wanted _her._ I need to know that when you were quiet and withdrawn, it was because you needed time to think, not because you didn't want to be here. You've shut me out, Edward. You made me feel like I was the one who had risked our marriage and left all the decisions for me to make, when we should have been making them together. You left me to pick up all the pieces she left behind, just like I sang tonight. I need reassurance that this will never, ever happen again, because next time, I will leave you.

I have never seen Bella so deadly serious. "No, baby..you can't leave me.." I exclaimed. " Your right. I did push you away and left everything to you to deal with. For so long, I never let myself take the blame, it was easier to blame _her. _But I am the one who is responsible. I am the one who let you down, and I will show you everyday for the rest of my life how much I love you, if you will give me the chance?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Would you give him a second chance?  
**


	46. Chapter 46

**A/N Thank you for continuing to read and review, I flove you guys.**

**Smooches to Mona and Hugs to TwiLighT7242 x  
**

**xxxxxxxxxx  
**

**CHAPTER 46 BPOV**

Well, it was all out there, I've laid it on the line for him. This will never happen again. I won't allow him to put me through this pain again; my melodramatic ass can't take it.

I have forgiven him. Some might think I'm nuts, but I have forgiven him pretty much from the beginning. I could see the remorse on his face, even if his actions never comfirmed it. Miscommunication was our biggest problem. We could have saved ourselves months of heartache if we had just conversed from the start. It was anger that had clouded my judgment, and, while deep down I knew Edward was partially to blame, I felt most of my anger was aimed at _her._ You know what they say: the woman always gets the blame. It's true; I put the onus on _her too._

I want to put this behind us and restart our life together. All of a sudden I know, but I've spent enough time reflecting on the past; it's about time to live again.

Grabbing Edward's hand,I feel the heart stopping spark that used to be present every time we touched. Not wanting that feeling to go, I pull him towards our bedroom. "Make love to me, Edward," I whisper. "Help me remember how it used to be. Make me yours again."

Not needing to ask twice, he crushed his lips to mine.

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**Would you let the emotions lead you to the bedroom, or would you have held firm?  
**


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N Yep, she gave it up to him...**

**CHAPTER 47 EPOV**

Fuck, this night is turning out to be better than I have ever hoped.

Not being one to hold back I crush her mouth to mine, forcing my tongue in to explore every part of her mouth. Her sweet moans excite me to no end; I just can't wait to be inside her and show her how much I want her. Gently guiding her towards the bed, I reluctantly pull away from her lips.

Looking in her deep brown eyes for any hesitation, I begin to pull off her top, leaving her in her red strapless bra. God, she is beautiful. How I have missed her smooth freckly skin. I start to kiss her neck, heading down towards her breasts, as her soft moans encourage me on. I swiftly unhook her bra and let it drop to the floor. Taking one hard nipple into my mouth, I rub the other in between my pinched fingers while Bella scrapes her nails throughout my hair.

Eventually, I pull away, removing her fuck hot shoes and working her out of her tight jeans. She's laying back on the bed, panting, as I run my hands up her legs to remove her red lace shorts. Running my fingers through her wet lips, I use my fingers to circle her clit, just the way she likes it. She moans loudly, moving her hips up and down in frustration, knowing I am teasing her, making her impatient for what's to come.

"Fuck, Edward," she cries. "Stop teasing me and get that hard cock in me... I can't wait any longer."

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**Thank you for reading and reviewing xxx  
**


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N Thanks to TwiLighT7242 for her beta skills and thanks to SM for giving us fantastic character to play around with x**

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**CHAPTER 48 EPOV**

Obeying her command, I furiously strip my clothes off and kneel in between her parted legs. One look at her face, and I slowly push in. There are many beautiful sights in this world, but nothing beats Bella's face as I enter her

Her lifting hips urge me to move and I pull out of my dazed state. I thrust in and out slowly, and she meets me thrust for thrust. I whisper to her how sorry I am, and what a fool I've been. I continue to murmur to her how I would never ever do it again, and beg for her to put her trust in me. I kiss the tears slowly running down her cheeks as she nods her head, meaning she has understood me.

I murmur that I love her more than my own life, and that I want to be with her and only her forever. I convey that I want her to be the mother of my children, and that I can't wait to have a family with her. I can feel her tight walls begin to flutter around me, and as her climax becomes closer, mine approaches, too. I urge her to let go. She comes hard, crying out my name, pulling me with her. I come quickly, emptying into her pulsing walls more forcefully than I have ever before.

Rolling us to the side, I push her hair away from her face, wiping her remaining tears away.

"Don't cry anymore, baby," I whisper. "We're totally fine. Everything's going to be fine."

**xxxxxxxx**

**Good/Bad?  
**

**Give the other entrants some love too x  
**

**FB: Wantstobea Cullen**

**Ffn: Wants2beACullen: **www . fanfiction u / 2120357 / Wants2BeACullen

**FB: Maria Depp Burton**

**Ffn:Little Angry Kitten:** www . fanfiction ~/ littleangrykitten

**FB: ADADancer**

**Ffn:ADADancer: **www. fanfiction . net** /** u / 2207394 /

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**Ffn:WhiteWolfLegend: **www . fanfiction. net **/ **u / 2115465 / WhiteWolfLegend

**FB: Marigel Martinez Cardel**

**Ffn:MaritaMtzC:** www . fanfiction ~ / maritamtzc

**FB:** **Rob's Sleeptalker**

**Ffn: sleeptalker1:** www . fanfiction u / 2326376 / sleeptalker1


	49. Chapter 49

**A/N Well the end is nigh...Thank you for reading and reviewing. One more after this x**

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**CHAPTER 49 BPOV EPILOGUE Pt 1 – six months later.**

Sighing, I think back to that night - The night I took a chance singing that song to Edward. He could have angrily turned and walked away from me, especially as _she_ was there, although I don't think he ever found out _she_ had turned up. Thankfully, he listened to me and we managed to resolve our issues.

Making love that night was a whole different experience. It was soft and tender, and Edward managed to convey his feelings of love for me in every thrust. It sealed out any doubts my mind had on giving our marriage another chance. I couldn't help but let my tears fall that night. Those were not only tears of love but also tears of relief.

The last few months haven't been easy though. We have shouted, thrown things and flung accusations, but surprisingly the making up has been so much more fun. That wasn't the only surprise that I got. Running my hand over my small bump, I remember telling Edward about the baby. He was so shocked since we hadn't even discussed starting our family, knowing we still had some issues to wade through. I tried to make sure Edward never felt left out again, so we purposely put aside a night just for us.

_Edward wolfed down his dinner - honestly, he has the manners of a pig - and sat patiently while waiting for his dessert. I had a cake with my ultrasound picture on it made and had put the words "Hello Daddy" in multi-colored sweeties at the top. I placed the cake in the middle of the table and told Edward to cut it up while I went back for the plates. Usually he chatters away about how delicious the cake looks or something, but all I could hear nothing but total silence. Not knowing whether this was a good or bad thing, I stood in the doorway with my hand protectively over my tummy._

_When he sensed my presence, he looked up, tears shining in his eyes. "Tell me it's true, Bella," he begged. "I'm really going to be a Daddy? We're having a baby?" _

_I nodded, laughing as he jumped up, knocking over his chair, and grabbed me twirling me around. His lips soon found mine, and I found myself with my back against the wall, with my clothes rapidly disappearing. Needless to say, the cake never got eaten._

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_

_**What'd you think?  
**_


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N Well this is it...I'll do a mushy note at the bottom.  
**

**Throught all you fantastic, passionate reviews, a lot of questions were raised that when I writing I never even considered. They have given me so many ideas to do outtake with. I'm thinking of doing Bella's night with Hunter and Edward's night with _her. _If there's anything you would like to read, let me know xx  
**

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**

**CHAPTER 50 EPOV – EPILOGUE pt2 – It's Time!**

Never in my life have I felt so complete. Bella is lying on the bed next to me, lightly dozing, while in my arms, snoring softly was my two-day old son. Thinking back over the last few days, I remember my wife trying to wake me from my slumber in this very bed.

"_Edward," I heard Bella say, as she shoved me repeatedly. "For fuck's sake, Edward, my water has broken! You need to fucking get up," she shouted._

_Well that did it, I was officially awake at... 2.12 am. " Aww, fuck," I groaned at my wife's bump. "This was my last chance of a full night sleep, and you, my baby, decide to make an appearance in the middle of the night." I shake my head as I chuckle in disbelief._

_"Not funny, Edward," Bella retorted. "I didn't want to wake you, but I've been having pains on and off for the last few hours and now my water broke. Baby is coming, so FUCKING MOVE!" she roared, clutching at her stomach and breathing in and out rapidly._

_Grabbing her bag and helping her into the car, I made a mad dash to the hospital. Calling ahead to let them know we were coming, an attendant was waiting at the door to take my wife to the labor ward. Bella barely had her ass on the bed when she shouted that she needed to push. The nurse hadn't even had the time to put her gloves on and look at Bella's notes. "I don't think so, Mrs Cullen. You have just arrived," the woman said to her._

_Judging by the murderous look on Bella's face, I suggested that the nurse check her over just in case. After getting her PJ's off and her legs into the stir-ups, the nurse finally looked at Bella. "Oh dear, Mrs Cullen. I can see your baby's head; it's time to push."_

_"I fucking told you that, you idiot," Bella squeaked out through her gritted teeth as she bore down. I squeezed myself behind her, helping her support her weight as she continued to push. Bella began to cry as each contraction became stronger and stronger. _

_"Can't you give her something to help the pain?" I asked the midwife. _

_"Gas and air only, Mr Cullen. Your wife is too far dilated to be given anything else. It will only slow her down," she explained to me. _

_"A couple of more pushes, Mrs. Cullen, and you baby will be here," the nurse cheerfully said to us. _

_"Fuck off," Bella muttered as I laughed._

And a couple of more pushes was all it took for my magnificent wife to bring our son screaming into the world. I have always been proud of my wife, but I was struck with awe that day. Men are feeble creatures compared to women. She incubated that small egg, kept it warm and safe, and turned that small fetus into the tiny boy I have in my arms now. Callan James Cullen, weighed in at a healthy 7lb 10 oz, measuring 55cm long, with bright blue eyes and a wisp of copper hair - sheer perfection.

I realize that I have so much to be thankful for - happiness, health, love and gorgeous son. But most of all, I am thankful for Bella. Without her I would be nothing; without her forgiveness, I would be a lonely, desolate man. If she hadn't picked up the pieces, I would have been left behind.

I give my wife a soft kiss to the forehead as I curl arms tighter around my son. Closing my eyes, I drift off into a peaceful slumber, knowing when I awake I get to feel this contentment all over again.

**THE END**

**Where do I start? First of all thank you all for reading and reviewing. I never thought my first wee story would be so well recieved. You have made me laugh and cry. You got right in there with Bella and gave Edward a fair bashing. I've received PM's telling me about your own experiences and offering me friendship and support in my own life, and I am so honoured, thank you so much xxx**

**TwiLight7242, you have been a brilliant support to me. You encouraged me, fixed my Scottish words into ones everyone could understand and have been a fantastic friend xxx**

**Mona Rider, without your mad cheerleading skills I would never have even put the words on the page, thank you huni for your never ending encouragement xxx**

**Fiona Seenan, my only RL friend in this mad fandom. Thank you for sharing my love of all things Robert Pattinson and for you help and support xxx**

**Finally a huge hug to all the ladies on Facebook who have cheered me on...Flove you guys xxx**

**OK..I'm done.  
**


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